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Dolphins and birth plans

By on Friday, January 20th, 2012 | No Comments

[Originally posted April 2010]

While I was in California a few weeks ago, we hit the beach. Almost as soon as we got there, we saw something swimming several yards out in the water. At first I didn’t know what it was and sort of screamed (thinking shark), “There’s an animal!” Once it became clear it was a pod of dolphins, I had to smile to myself, reminiscing.

I used to be mildly (or… very) obsessed with dolphins as an adolescent. I had dolphin figurines, dolphin stuffed animals, dolphin posters, dolphin videos, dolphin stationary, dolphin everything. I did book reports about them, dreamed of swimming with them, toyed with becoming a marine biologist because of them, etc.

I was reminded of that adolescent dolphin fascination again this morning. I’ve been skimming through Marsden Wagner’s Creating Your Birth Plan off and on over the past week or so, contemplating lending it to my newly-pregnant sister-in-law. This morning I lingered on p. 176 where Dr. Wagner shares some fascinating details about dolphin birthing. Here’s an excerpt:

At its physical and emotional best, support for women in labor has always reminded me of dolphin birth. When a dolphin gives birth to a calf, several female dolphins swim in a circle close to the laboring mother. Slightly farther away, another larger group of all the remaining females in the pod circle around the laboring dolphin. Then, even farther away, all the male dolphins in the pod circle around her. The entire collective comes together to protect the laboring dolphin and her emerging calf from intrusion and harm. A woman giving birth to a baby thrives when she’s at the center of a circle of love.

Read the rest of this entry »


A Moment

By on Wednesday, January 18th, 2012 | 5 Comments

Watching this beautiful HBAC birth video last night reminded me of some important things I learned at my neonatal resuscitation training back in December. I want to share them here, in part because my own experiences have been a reflection of them. Let me explain.

Many of you have probably seen the beautiful video Birth in the Squatting Position depicting women in Brazil giving birth. After those Brazilian women’s babies emerge from their bodies, there is always a moment (or two or three or four) where the babies are lying on the floor in front of their mothers. Those mothers do not instantly grasp their babies into their arms, enraptured. Those mothers (and most mothers who give birth normally) need a moment to breathe and allow themselves to process what has just happened to them. Likewise, their babies benefit from those few moments in a place below their mothers, allowing gravity to aid bringing all of their blood to them from the placenta (<–this wouldn’t be wise in water, however). Then, once these physiological and emotional processes have happened, once these mothers have come back into their bodies, then these mothers begin to gently touch their babies and finally claim them and bring them into their arms. It is beautiful to see these things happen without interference. No one hands the baby to her. She claims her baby herself when she is ready to do it. Read the rest of this entry »


Silver lining

By on Monday, January 16th, 2012 | 3 Comments

Back in November I posted about some weird health issues I was having. I thought some of you might be wondering what became of all of that. Here’s the latest…

  • Most of the time I’m not really dizzy anymore. Once in awhile the dizziness emerges, but I have been steadily improving and expect to be whole again soon.
  • I’m avoiding mushrooms, most foods fermented with yeast, some corn products, some aged cheeses, MSG, and most processed meats. I feel good about continuing to avoid them.
  • Avoiding bread and yeast for several months had an unexpected silver lining. We realized that as long as my daughter doesn’t eat bread/yeast the chapped lips and eczema sores she is has been plagued with around her mouth every winter of her life stay away! Here are some pics from several years ago…

    Read the rest of this entry »

Confounded

By on Sunday, January 15th, 2012 | 11 Comments

Last weekend, my six-year-old daughter said something surprising.

But first I have to give the background story. We recently had a discussion with my two oldest daughters about how babies are created. They already knew a lot of the details from many previous smaller conversations, each one building a bit on the other, but this particular discussion was an answer to the question, “Mom, how do the sperm get inside of the mommy so they can get to the egg?”

So the other day my six-year-old was lying with her ear where my womb is, just relaxing. Then out of nowhere she said, “Mom, I think I know what’s happening right now.” And I said, “What’s that?” And she said, “I think the sperm are swimming to the egg inside of you.”

… Blink. Blink. Stare at my husband with raised eyebrows and wide eyes. Read the rest of this entry »

God takes the pain away?

By on Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012 | 5 Comments

My teenage brother is a free-spirited artist with a particular affinity for buddhist thought. He likes to create collages with magazine clippings, so I decided to give him a book full of empty cardstock pages to unleash his creativity upon. I gave the gift a personalized touch by decorating the front cover with a collage of my own. I love how it turned out!

While flipping through my old magazines looking for materials for my collage, I found a little snip-it of an article with this headline: “God takes the pain away.” It shared a bit of research (by Amy Wachholtz, PhD) about how spiritual meditation can impact our perception of pain. Study participants were instructed to either 1) Do relaxation exercises, 2) Mediate on phrases such as “I am happy,” or 3) Meditate on phrases such as “God is love” for several weeks. Afterward, participants’ abilities to withstand pain were tested. Those who had practiced spiritual meditation demonstrated the highest pain thresholds (Click here to learn more).

Amy Wachholtz has also studied how spiritual meditation can impact migraine sufferers. She found that “over the course of the intervention in comparison to the other three groups, those who practiced spiritual meditation had greater decreases in the frequency of migraine headaches, anxiety, and depression, as well as greater increases in pain tolerance, headache-related self-efficacy, daily spiritual experiences, and existential well being” (Source). Read the rest of this entry »

Gifts born at home

By on Monday, December 19th, 2011 | 2 Comments

Gifts “born at home” are my favorite gifts to receive and my favorite gifts to give. Usually I’m spending this week each year hurriedly finishing-up the gifts I’m making for family and friends. So I thought I’d share some homemade gift ideas from my repertoire, in case anyone out there is looking for a last-minute way to hand-craft some born-at-home love.

1. Magnets

These have been a total hit with everyone I have given them to. My aunt found the idea at Notmartha.org, made a bunch, and put them in cute little tins she found at Michaels. So I copied her. I have been making these for several years now, so I always stock up on gift card tins after Christmas when they’re really cheap in anticipation for making more down the road. I love seeing them all lined-up in their tin, ready to brighten someone’s day. Read the rest of this entry »

The birth that changed the world

By on Wednesday, December 14th, 2011 | 1 Comment

I love that one of the most celebrated events in earth’s history is a birth.

I’ve posted before (Away in a Manger) about what that miraculous event might have been like, based on Jewish laws and customs from Biblical times. Of course we don’t know exactly what happened when Mary gave mortal life to her Son. Sometimes laws and customs are laid aside when circumstances require. But how wonderful it would have been to witness that birth! I fantasize about it often.

I love the following new videos depicting the events surrounding Christ’s birth. One of my only laments is that we aren’t privileged to see Mary laboring or giving birth. Below you’ll find links to the videos and a few of the things I loved about them. Each one is only a few minutes long. If you like them, you can download them to share with your friends and family too. Enjoy!

Angel Foretells Christ’s Birth to Mary-  I love the casting of Mary. I love how she seems to live and move and breathe on a higher plane. I love her humility. Read the rest of this entry »

For them I could

By on Monday, December 12th, 2011 | 2 Comments

Over the weekend, I attended a Neonatal Resuscitation Program (NRP) training taught by Karen Strange. My mind is still trying to process all of the information we were given in those ten hours together. So much to think about and practice! One of my main reasons for taking the class was that I wanted to be prepared to assist pregnant mothers and newborns in a potential disaster situation.  I wanted to know how to help women on the side of the road, in an elevator, in a disaster relief camp, etc. Karen Strange’s NRP class focuses on neonatal resuscitation in an out of hospital setting, so I knew it was going to be the best choice for my purposes. I’m so grateful for the tools we were given to not only help new babies come into life but also to keep ourselves calm and grounded as we encounter those sometimes intense situations.

Rubbing shoulders with all those lovely midwives, doulas, and mommas was wonderful, of course. And it had me asking myself, once again, am I heading toward midwifery? Then, last night, midwife Robin Lim was selected as CNN’s 2011 Hero of the Year. I am so inspired by Robin and midwives like her who offer their love and skills in behalf of those who are desperate for true caregiving. As I pondered my weekend and Robin Lim, I kept thinking of this post I wrote on my old blog in April of 2010. I do think I will end up catching babies. And this is why… Read the rest of this entry »

Red and Powerful

By on Friday, December 2nd, 2011 | No Comments

I’m blogging over at The Gift of Giving Life this week. Here’s a teaser from today’s post…

My oldest daughter is eight years old. For the past several months, I’ve been thinking a lot about the rite of passage she will soon be passing through as she leaves her girlhood body behind and transforms into a woman.

For me, that transformation was frightening. The only place where anyone talked to me about puberty was at school. The only peer I knew of who had experienced “it” herself was an awkward girl people made fun of. I wasn’t eager to follow her footsteps.

When I started to bleed the summer before I turned thirteen, my whole heart and soul cried, “No!” I was horrified. I felt like my body was dragging me forward into a future I wasn’t ready to embrace. But there was no turning back. I was now one of them whether I wanted to be or not. And my attitude toward my monthly cycle for the next decade+ was a reflection of that shame.

I kept my new status a secret from everyone but my best friend for several days.  Finally, after much fearful stalling, I broke down in tears and told my stepmother I was bleeding. She held me while I cried and told me about when her period had started. She had been in the shower when blood started coming out of her. She screamed because she thought she was dying.

Horror. Shame. Crying. Screaming. “No!”

I refuse to let this menstrual legacy continue. I want my daughters’ experience of crossing that threshold from girl to woman to be everything it wasn’t for me but should have been. Triumphant. Celebratory. Joyful. Peaceful.

Blood is loaded with meaning in the scriptures. It is life. It is death. The middle of each cycle demonstrates the body’s deep investment in the continuation of life. Sometimes that investment continues for nine months. Sometimes that potential for life passes away, and the body cradles that fallen egg in a brief embrace before letting it go to make way for new life again…

Read the rest of the post HERE.

Thank you, Sarah

By on Friday, November 25th, 2011 | No Comments

A picture of Sarah Josepha Hale is hanging in my living room. This is because Sarah is one of my heroines. Here’s why…

First of all, she wrote “Mary Had a Little Lamb,” and that is certainly something. But that’s not really why she’s so cool, it’s just an interesting little tidbit.

Sarah Josepha Hale was born in 1788 in New Hampshire, the daughter of a Revolutionary War veteran. As an adult, she became a writer and editor, and she used those talents to bring about wonderful things. I think that is the main reason I admire her, because I am a writer/editor who wants to do that too.

Sarah was the editor of Godey’s Lady’s Book (a women’s magazine) for forty years. It was the most popular and highest circulating magazine for women during its time. Through the magazine, she promoted women’s education and advocated for women in their roles as wives and mothers. She did not retire from her work as an editor until she was 90 years old. And she wrote and wrote! By the time she died, Sarah had published nearly fifty volumes of her written work. Read the rest of this entry »

Just call me the family filter

By on Tuesday, November 22nd, 2011 | 2 Comments

The older I get, the more my body tells me (screams at me) that I can’t eat like a “normal” person.

This past week has alerted me to some additional food sensitivities (I have many) that I hadn’t been aware of before. That knowledge came packaged in a full week (and counting) of dizziness. I kid you not when I say there were some moments over the past week when I felt like I just might be on the verge of death (who knows, maybe I was?). Fun, fun. But all of it has helped me to piece together a bunch of puzzle pieces about my body that hadn’t made sense before. I will now be adding a lot of things (things I love to eat) to the list of foods I need to avoid (or eat very sparingly) in order for my body/mind to function well.

I have known since I was a teenager that I am allergic to mold, but I never really thought of it as a food allergy. We got an air filter (for my basement bedroom) and assumed my bases were covered. Turns out it is a food allergy (at least for me). And fungus is everywhere. Those mushrooms I binged on a couple of weekends ago… bad, bad idea.

Apparently people with mold allergies are also often sensitive to yeast in its many forms (good-bye bread), including fermented foods (good-bye probiotics). This explains why the homemade kefir made me dizzy and why homemade sourdough foods made me dizzy. And it’s a darn good thing that I’m a Mormon ’cause alcohol would be sheer poison to my body. This also explains why I felt dizzy while sleeping for two weeks in my dad’s (likely mold-infested) basement last summer. Read the rest of this entry »

As a little child

By on Tuesday, November 15th, 2011 | 2 Comments

When I grow up, I want to be like my baby.  Here’s why…

 

1) She wakes up smiling from ear to ear every day, full of enthusiasm for life and eager to get started. I don’t think this has ever been true of her not-a-morning-person momma. But I wish it were.

2) She lives the old “early to bed, early to rise” adage. This is probably largely responsible for #1. I think we’d all be much happier, healthier people if we did the same.  I know I would. Read the rest of this entry »

Healed

By on Sunday, November 6th, 2011 | 4 Comments

I take my time at the grocery store tonight,
Alone.
Thoughts trickle through my brain,
A stream of discouragement,
Bubbling over the rocky terrain in my skull.
I linger in aisle after aisle,
Contemplating items I usually ignore.
A bag of Doritos is soon nestled with the organic eggs and plain yogurt.
I guess sometimes you just need to do something
Drastic,
Out of character,
To shake yourself back. Read the rest of this entry »

Jam to Lamb

By on Wednesday, November 2nd, 2011 | 2 Comments

Two years ago tomorrow, I got a life-changing email from a lovely woman named Felice Austin. It started like this…

Dear Lani,

I got your name and email from Martha. She said that you are a fellow birth loving mamma. My name is Felice Austin and I am writing a spiritual birth book titled The Gift of Giving Life…

Needless to say, it only took a few nanoseconds for me to know I most definitely wanted to be a part of this project. And two years later I can say with every bit of my heart and soul that I know God brought Felice Austin and me (and all of my TGOGL sisters) together.

The day after I came into contact with Felice, she wrote a blogpost I will never forget. To this day it is still one of my all-time favorite blogposts. I hope you will enjoy this re-post from her archive as much as I did two years ago. -Lani

Read the rest of this entry »

Excerpt from our book

By on Friday, October 28th, 2011 | No Comments

As we near the release of our book, The Gift of Giving Life: Rediscovering the Divine Nature of Pregnancy and Birth, we have been posting excerpts on our website. The most recent excerpt release was a piece written by yours truly: “Counsel with the Lord.” Here’s a teaser:

During my third pregnancy, after receiving a clear answer from the Lord of the unusual path we should take, I still found my faith wavering on occasion as I allowed my fears to cloud my faith. I struggled to do as Proverbs 3:5 urges us: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

In such moments, we may sympathize with the children of Israel as they prepared to cross the Red Sea. If they were to trust in logic or their “own understanding,” fear would most certainly have kept them rooted on the water’s edge, incapable of stepping forward into the parted sea. Elder Holland urges us:

After you have gotten the message, after you have paid the price to feel His love and hear the word of the Lord, go forward. Don’t fear, don’t vacillate, don’t quibble, don’t whine. . . . Nobody had ever crossed the Red Sea this way, but so what? There’s always a first time. With the spirit of revelation, dismiss your fears and wade in with both feet.[2]

Perhaps the Lord will instruct you to cross your own “Red Sea” as you navigate your pregnancy and birth journey. This could mean following a seemingly illogical prompting to seek emergency medical attention when your gut tells you something is wrong with your baby. This could mean choosing to give birth without pain medication when all of your friends and family say it’s impossible. Or your “Red Sea” could be a planned elective cesarean prompted by revelation. The right path isn’t always the logical path, or the easy path, or the path we had envisioned, but God’s guidance will always be in our best interest. I pray that we may all become wise women, building our houses upon the rock of the Lord’s perfect counsel.

Click here to read the complete essay. Enjoy!

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