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About Buscando la luz

Buscando la luz has been a member since June 29th 2010, and has created 148 posts from scratch.

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This Author's Website is http://BirthFaith.com

Buscando la luz's Recent Articles

My friend, Robyn

published Thursday, May 17th, 2012 at 2:12 pm by

This interview is a stop on the Virtual Book Tour for The Gift of Giving Life.

I’m happy to introduce you to my dear friend and collaborator, Robyn Allgood. Robyn is magnificent. Though we have now written a book together, I’ve never actually met her in person (Skype doesn’t count). Next month I’ll have the privilege of, finally, wrapping my arms around her and hugging her with all the love I have in my heart for her (when we meet at the LDS Holistic Living Conference). Having been influenced by Robyn’s beautiful soul has inspired me in so many ways.

The following is an interview that will, hopefully, give you a small taste of why I love Robyn Allgood so much.

Tell me about your background?

I am a mother to five children, a doula, childbirth educator, and ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network) Chapter Leader. I am not a domestic goddess, but I can sew somewhat straight lines if called upon while not under duress. I consider myself a book nerd of sorts. I love natural living, but I have been known to make mac & cheese from the box for lunch and slap on a disposable diaper because I don’t feel like folding the cloth ones. I am married to a tall, dark version of McGyver. At least I call him McGyver because he can fix anything and I love him to pieces for it.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Cesarean Section, Doulas, Friendship, Meditation, Spiritual Stuff, The book | 1 Comment »

Four centimeters

published Tuesday, May 15th, 2012 at 12:25 am by

For months I had been writing things like this in my journal…

“Right now I just feel so drained. I feel like I give and give and give until there’s nothing left.”

“I am exhausted. I want to sleep for two weeks. I so need a break.”

“I am so run down, so overwhelmed, so out of reserves. But what can I do except just keep swimming?”

“I need a break. Big time. So much.”

Little red flags were waving in front of my face for quite some time. And then Mama Birth posted this:

I think that selflessness and sacrifice are beautiful things- and I think they can purify us and teach us. But I also know now that a woman needs balance. . . . Babies need a mother who takes care of herself and the other people she loves and who herself is nurtured in her relationships.

And it was another little red flag, another messenger saying, “Girl, you need help. You need a break. If you don’t take care of you, you won’t be able to take care of anyone else.” (Thank you, Sarah). But, unfortunately, those little red flags just kept on waving, and I just kept on running myself into the ground. I could feel myself sliding into depression, and it scared me. I have been in that dark place before, and I did not want to visit it again. Looking back, I can say that the damage was already done. A body chronically depleted of sleep and sapped of vital nutrients through chronic stress is going to have a very difficult time functioning, let alone functioning cheerfully. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Antenatal depression, Anxiety, Birth Stories, Dreams, Exercise, Labor Tips, Natural Childbirth, Sleep, Spiritual Stuff, The book | 5 Comments »

Beautiful crucible

published Thursday, May 10th, 2012 at 5:49 am by

I felt like I wanted to die.

In my head, at this moment, two weeks ago, a part of me was wishing for death.

Someone very dear to me has lived with deep anxiety for much of the past decade. He has also spent much of the past several years abusing drugs and living in a variety of rehab programs. But as I felt my whole body/mind/spirit breaking into unfamiliar pieces under anxiety’s crushing blow, I suddenly got it… why he has turned to drugs, why he has contemplated (and perhaps attempted) suicide, why some days are a massive feat of endurance for him. I understood, to some small degree, just how horrifyingly debilitating anxiety can be. Anxiety is real and raw and ravaging. And I will never again jokingly use the phrase “nervous breakdown” because now I’ve experienced a taste of what it actually feels like. And it’s no joke.

But. But here is what I also know now.

There is no darkness too deep, no fear too profound, no soul too shattered for love to reach.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Anxiety, Empowerment, Friendship, Hormones, Mothering, Spiritual Stuff | 5 Comments »

Finished

published Thursday, May 3rd, 2012 at 12:01 am by

I interrupt my regularly scheduled calling-for-help (ha!) to bring you this announcement…

After nearly three years of hard work, our book is finally in print! Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Spiritual Stuff, The book | 2 Comments »

Call for help (again)

published Sunday, April 29th, 2012 at 4:13 am by

If you follow my Birth Faith facebook page, then you may already be aware that on Tuesday night I plummeted into a horrifying, debilitating state of anxiety. It has waxed and waned over the course of the week, but I can’t seem to shake it. And my fear of it never going away (or coming back again) is only fueling the anxiety further.

I have been doing everything I can, within my ability, to beat this. Extra sleep, exercise, sunshine, quality nutrients, chocolate, spending time in my garden, talking it out, listening to uplifting music, crying, massages, etc. etc. But I still can’t seem to pull out of the nose dive I’m in.

My husband will be here with me all weekend, and he has Monday off from work, thank goodness. I don’t know how I’m going to get through another day (let alone another week) like this.

In my most fearful moments I find myself thinking that I need to be committed somewhere, that I will be in a drugged-up daze and incapable of caring for my family for the rest of my life. In my more hopeful moments, I feel that things will get better and I will be back to normal soon.

I am asking that you exercise all of the faith you can muster that my hopes of recovery will be brought to pass, that my fears will subside, that I will be able to breathe. I have been having trouble breathing all week.

I know I asked for advice and tips in my last post, but this time I’m asking for pure encouragement. Pretend I’m in labor, and I’m in transition, and you are my doulas. I need pure fuel, pure love, pure encouragement, pure hope. No advice this time. Just faith and hope and a vision of a happier and better future just around the corner.

Please, please help me. I can’t get through this alone. I need all the help I can get.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned this week, it is that LOVE is the most powerful force in the universe. Loving words and loving touch are the only things keeping me hanging on.

Thank you, thank you for your love.

Posted in Doulas, Friendship, Spiritual Stuff | 16 Comments »
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