So I’ve been kind of obsessed with near-death experience accounts lately. My Grandma (a.k.a. primary-caregiver for most of my childhood) passed away last year. Her loss was pretty earth-shattering to my soul, and part of me was absolutely terrified: “What if everything I’ve ever believed all of my life is false? What if she ceased to exist? What if I never see her again?” So grief books and near-death accounts (among other things) have been instrumental in helping me to hold onto hope and faith that she most definitely does still exist, and I most definitely will see her again.
Yesterday I finished reading the bestseller Embraced By the Light by Betty J. Eadie. I found it for 99 cents at Goodwill last month and threw it in my cart. I’m pretty sure I read it back in the 90’s when she originally published it, but it was a whole lot more impactful now. I really loved her near-death story for so many reasons. Here are some of my not-really-death-related favorite quotes:
- “I came to know that each of my children was on earth for their own experiences, that although I had thought of them as ‘mine,’ I had been mistaken. They were individual spirits, like myself, with an intelligence that was developed before their lives on earth. . . . They had only been placed in my care” (p. 35).
- “I heard a soft, pleasant sound . . . . It was a tone similar to a note of music, but was universal and seemed to fill all the space around me. . . . The tones produced soft vibrations, and as they touched me I knew that they possessed the power to heal. . . . They were like spiritual salve, expressions of love that mended broken spirits” (p. 87).
- “I learned that spirits can choose to enter their mother’s body at any stage of her pregnancy” (p. 95).
I loved so many passages, but I won’t share them all. I told my husband after I finished the book that it was like a summary of a lot of the things I’ve been reading and researching lately. Of course no one can prove that Betty’s account is true, but we can feel the truth of the principles she shares and apply them in our lives. The proof will be in the fruits of those actions. Good seeds bring good fruit, and it’s my opinion that Betty’s book is chock full of good seeds.
Betty’s book also helped me find an answer to a question that’s been plaguing me for awhile. Last night I was pondering and praying about my children. All of them have been “high-needs” to varying degrees as infants and toddlers. We babysat a friend’s children last Friday night. When it was time for her baby to go to bed, I laid her down, covered her with a blanket, turned off the light, and walked out of the room. She never made a peep. She just went to sleep. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve never had a baby like that. (How do I order one of those?!)
I often wonder… Why are my children so much more dependent upon me? Why do they have such intense separation anxiety? What am I doing wrong? I’ve always gone out of my way to make sure they feel loved and secure and know I will never abandon them. So why do they act as though they’ve experienced a traumatic rejection or abandonment some time in their past?
Since I’ve been reading and learning a lot about the characteristics and common issues faced by spirits of aborted babies through my work with Sarah Hinze, I couldn’t help wondering… were my children previously aborted? I’ve made it a matter of prayer over the past month or two. Last night I was pleading… please help me to understand why my children seem to have abandonment issues.
Then, in a sudden stroke of insight, the puzzle pieces clicked in my brain and I knew. And my next thought was, “Duh.” I have no idea why it took me all this time to figure it out. It was suddenly crystal clear in my mind:
My children have abandonment issues because they inherited mine through their genes!
The answer has been staring me in the face for the past few months… starting when I attended the AZ Holistic Living Conference and learned about generational healing from Carolyn Cooper and then again while reading Embraced By the Light. Betty Eadie explained:
“I learned that all thoughts and experiences in our lives are recorded in our subconscious minds. They are also recorded in our cells, so that, not only is each cell imprinted with a genetic coding, it is also imprinted with every experience we have ever had. Further, I understood that these memories are passed down through the genetic coding to our children. These memories then account for many of the passed on traits in families, such as addictive tendencies, fears, strengths, and so on” (p. 93).
When I first learned about generational energy healing, I was so focused on the issues I had inherited from my ancestors that I didn’t even think about the personal memories and traumas that I had myself experienced and passed on to my children through their DNA. No wonder they all seem to need so much reassurance that I won’t ever leave them. They were born to me… the third in a line of “motherless” women who were abandoned in a variety of ways by their birth mothers. It’s time for this family line to heal.
Since having this epiphany, I’ve been thinking about how our generation seems to be moving into a more nurturing, compassionate way of mothering. I can’t help but wonder if part of this is because our children are being born with a couple of generation’s worth of harsh parenting traumas from their ancestors that need to be healed. If you have “high-needs” babies like I do, this might help you understand why.
I’m not sure yet exactly what it is I need to do to break the chains holding me and my children back from trusting those closest to us, but I’m going to find out. I think I need to go re-read Felice’s “Chain Breaking” post.