On Friendship

February 22, 2012 at 8:01 pm

I’ve been reflecting on friendship over the last couple of days. I’ve been looking around myself, recognizing that I have been blessed with an overwhelming abundance of friendships. I have so many people, near and far, that I love and cherish. So many people in my support network who would step up and help me with an emergency on a moment’s notice. So many awesome people. Yet I am also recognizing a problem with that great blessing. When you’re friends with everyone, what that really sort of translates to is that you’re friends with no one.

I stopped calling anyone my “best friend” before I even got to high school. I guess I learned a long time ago that it just hurts too much to lose a “best friend,” so I tend to play it safe and keep people at a distance. That way losing one isn’t as catastrophic because they’re not the “one and only,” they’re just one of many. Chalk it up to my abandonment issues, I guess.

But, at the same time, I crave close friendships. A mom needs a girls’ night now and then. A mom needs a close friend she can call or email when she feels like she’s going bonkers, someone who will give her just the right blend of validation and encouragement. A mom needs someone who’ll drag her out of the house for some fresh air, sunshine, and adult conversation. I long to invest myself more fully into a friendship and receive invested love in return. But then there’s always that wall in the way. And I’m not sure I’m brave enough to take it down.

Then again… there’s the time issue. I have a husband and four children, a book¬†we’re trying to “push out” ASAP, my blog and fb page, church functions and responsibilities, a house to (try to) keep clean, a summer garden waiting to be planted… so many things vying for my attention. Where does one find the time to invest into close friends? There are so many wonderful people I would love to get to know better, but how do I choose which of those amazing people to invest more in and when would I fit them in?

Do you relate to any of this? How do you balance family/church/work and friends? Do you have a “best friend” (besides your spouse)? Thoughts?