Oozing oxytocin
Several weeks ago, I was at a friend’s house while she was babysitting a newborn. This little one started to cry not long after her momma left. Try as she might, my friend couldn’t console that little baby. She wouldn’t take the bottle her mom had left either. Eventually, my friend turned to me and said, “Do you want to try?” So I took that little baby. Within moments, she was calm. Soon, I was able to get her to drink some of her bottle, and she fell asleep for a bit in my arms.
I don’t think my friend was doing anything “wrong,” and I don’t think I was doing anything “right.” But it was apparent that this little one could tell a difference between us. Knowing what I know now, I’d say she could smell and feel that difference. I’ve often heard and read that babies prefer the smell of lactating women to non-lactating women. I’m a lactating mother. I (or, more accurately, my boobs) smell good to babies. But I don’t think it was just the smell of my milk that calmed that little one.
Kerstin Uvnas-Moberg has been studying oxytocin longer than most. In her research, she discovered that injecting male rats with oxytocin would create a domino effect of sorts. The other rats in the cage could smell the increased oxytocin levels among their cage-mates and their own bodies responded by releasing more oxytocin. They also became more calm as a result. I’d say it is reasonable to assume that we, too, respond to the oxytocin levels of the people around us. (Via Hug the Monkey)
I don’t doubt that the little baby I consoled could smell/sense my hightened oxytocin levels. It’s likely that my body’s oxytocin prompted her own body to de-stress with a surge of oxytocin. With her mind and body soothed, she was able to eat in peace.
I’m also reminded of a blogpost I wrote after my doula training in February of ’09. I explained:
The people surrounding the laboring woman can enter into a kind of “zone” in which their bodies start producing hormones in response to the laboring woman’s hormones. A woman in labor is radiating oxytocin like nothing else. And I think the people around her–if in-tune with her through their consistent presence–will also experience a surge in their own oxytocin levels. It makes complete sense.
You hear birthworkers talk often about the “birth high,” and I think oxytocin has a lot to do with it.
Oxytocin has been called the “hormone of love,” so it’s totally fascinating (to me) to recognize that we can literally radiate love when we have high oxytocin levels. The people around us may even be able to smell our radiating love and will feel calm and peaceful in our presence! How cool is that? As I think about people in my life, I could probably accurately guess whose oxytocin levels are highest based on how I feel in their presence. There are people in my life who radiate stress and anxiety and people in my life who radiate calmness and love. My body responds to these people accordingly. And guess who I am most drawn to and eager to spend time with?
So what can we do to increase our oxytocin levels and thereby radiate love and peace? An excellent article called “Bonding Matters: The Chemistry of Attachment,” by Linda F. Palmer, DC, shares several important facts about maximizing oxytocin levels in mothers and babies:
- “Attempts at nursing during the initial hour after birth cause oxytocin to surge to exceptional levels in both mother and baby.”
- “Beyond birth, mother continues to produce elevated levels of oxytocin as a consequence of nursing and holding her infant, and the levels are based on the amount of such contact.”
- “Oxytocin levels are higher in mothers who exclusively breastfeed than in those who use supplementary bottles.”
- “Prolonged high oxytocin in mother, father, or baby also promotes lower blood pressure and reduced heart rate as well as certain kinds of artery repair, actually reducing lifelong risk of heart disease.”
- “Persistent regular body contact and other nurturing acts by parents produce a constant, elevated level of oxytocin in the infant, which in turn provides a valuable reduction in the infant’s stress-hormone responses.”
I think it’s probably safe to say that babywearing is one of the absolute best things you can do for your own and your baby’s oxytocin levels. As we remain close to our babies, nurturing and feeding them in our arms, our oxytocin levels remain high, bathing ourselves and everyone around us with that hormone of love and calmness. What a gift nurturing mothers are to the world!
Once our children have weaned, we can still keep our oxytocin levels high through being physically affectionate with our loved ones. Years ago, I also learned that sharing a meal with others may boost oxytocin levels, especially when you’re eating from the same pot or dish. I wish I could find the original source, but I definitely believe it. One of the most pleasurable eating experiences of my life was sitting around a table with a group of people I love, eating fondue from the communal pot in the middle of the table and laughing all night. I’d guess our oxytocin levels were off the charts that night.
Listening to good music and singing are also great ways to boost your oxytocin levels. In a blogpost about the neuroscience of singing, church music blog explains:
Singing, particularly singing with other people, causes the brain to produce unusually high levels of oxytocin. Just to double check, I found a study at the National Center for Biotechnology Information that lends credibility to this claim: when people sing together, their brains make oxytocin, and that makes them feel trust, solidarity, and connectedness with the people around them.
If you’ve ever sung in a choir, you know that incredible feeling that arises in the heart as voices harmonize and blend in unison. Oh I love that feeling. Oxytocin rocks.
All of this makes me want to hug more, cuddle more, breastfeed more, serve more, laugh more, and sing more. I want to be one of those people who radiates love at all times. I want to oooooze oxytocin. I want people to feel warm and happy in my presence. Maybe I’ll get there someday.
Do you think you can feel/smell/sense the oxytocin levels of the people around you? Do you have any cool examples?
Related posts:
Recently I attended a birth that was an induction with pit. It was a natural birth, but afterwards I didn’t feel the usual high and wondered at the time what was wrong. Did I need a break from hospital births? Was I not in tune with this couple? (I absolutely love them so that seemed strange) What? After reading this though, I wonder if it was that there was very little if any natural Oxytocin. There was nothing there for me to feed off of. Very interesting. I will be taking note of that at future births. Thanks!
it was probably the pitocin that caused the lack of a birth high. pitocin doesnt cross the brain barrier, and because the body, while on pitocin, is receiving adequate oxytocin (aka pitocin) to cause contractions, the uterus sends signals to the brain that is doesnt need to produce anymore…essentially leaving the brain depleted of the oxytocin hormone because of the reuptake disturbance….so the mother didnt feel the normal rush of oxytocin (birth high) because the pitocin blocked it from happening. it is a travesty that women arent warned about this before they accept the pitocin. also, pitocin administered to help stop bleeding and/or expel the placenta, does the EXACT same thing. pitocin ROBS mothers of their love hormone.
Oh yeah I’m oozing plenty of he stuff at the moment with a two week old son. I can feel it in myself that I am radiating love and oxytocin! It’s a strong hormone! Can’t get enough of snuggling, holding and the closeness. It’s an oxytocin fix! Who knows how we would be without the help of it to kick start our bonds. I do believe that the amount of it we produce definitely has to do with how much physical contact we share. for example, I semi-coslept with my other children and this time have decided to co-sleep 100% and although i follow attachment parenting and am very close to my kids and have breatsfed, baby wearing, snuggles and had them pretty muh attached to me from the begining, I do not remember feeling quite this high this early after birth before. Unless I’m tending to my other kids or tidying up a bit or whatever, bub’s is laying on my chest. For me it’s a natural response and I think the more I do it, the greater the bond and foundation we set up. can’t get enough of the closeness. Yeah oozing oxytocin rocks! I’d just been thinking about this the last few days too before reading this just now. Thanks for sharing!
Wonderful post! Very interesting, and applicable stuff.
Speaking from a lifetime of experience I think this is total BULL!
Care to elaborate? Are you honestly claiming that oxytocin doesn’t cause happy, loving feelings?
Patty a lifetime experience of what? rudeness? lack of the love hormone?
Janie, no need to get personal. Why would you attack someone just because they don’t agree with you?
“Why would you attack someone just because they don’t agree with you?”
to put it very simply: you were rude.
I don’t care if you don’t agree at all, makes no difference to me.
Patty, I am really interested to hear your opinion. I think that the replies before are reacting to the shortness of you response. What do you feel is bull? That babies respond differently to breastfeeding moms/ That oxytocin relieves stress? What about this article makes you angry?
Last week I spent about 16 hours wearing my 17 month old nursling at the birth of my first grandson (One of the unique blessings of my having been a teen mom many eons ago, lol!), and my little one was perfectly serene and intensely interested in the entire event. She patted my DIL’s knee and counted with us as my DIL pushed out her 9 lb 3 oz sweet baby boy! It was surreal in so many ways, but my little one being so calm and involved was amazing and no doubt my DIL’s and my own oxytocin levels were a contributing factor.
That is so interesting…
I had this “birth high” with my 3rd child.. I felt so happy, almost euphoric just after the birth.. and I was able to breasfeed within the first hour of my delivery.. and this was the first delivery where I did not have pitocin or drugs of any kind .. I wonder if there is a link there.
I wonder if that yummy baby smell that everyone talks about is oxytocin they are picking up on. I know it might sound funny but I feel my baby smells great even when she poops.
This made me cry. Thanks for the info!
I have always said I can be completely stressed but if I hold a baby it completely calms me. It does give me a feeling of being almost drugged. I will tell people that and they think i’m crazy. In most cases babies are very calm with me. I guess they cause my levels of oxytocin to rise which in return helps them to feel calm themselves. Cuddling with a baby or someone you love I think is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Now I know why! Thanks for the article.
I definitely agree with everything you said. Just recently my husband and I were driving home from a family event a little past when our 8 month old son should be in bed. He started crying in the car. I started singing the ABCs slowly (his fail-safe calming song), Daddy joined in and we both sang until it had been quiet for a while. It made me smile hearing our two voices (thinking about how silly we must have looked as well) and knowing I will look back fondly on these times where we sang together to calm our little one.
I so totally agree I am a Mother of Six, and a Childbirth Educator, a Pastor’s wife a Kids Worker, I also run a Birthing Ministry in the Philippines….
I find that I have MANY MANY people around me lactating and in the baby zone.
I find that the more I around these people the more nurturing I am. I breastfed for 16 years practically straight, only finishing two years ago when my “baby” was 4…… and I find that babies and their mother’s make me a softer/nicer/ and more nurturing, dare I say a “better” person. I think you are right, I am so so sure it increases my levels too.
In church we constantly sing and worship, maybe that too is why the “church” is a different institution to say a Rotary Club for example…..I think there is definitely a deeper level of commitment and care in such groups….hmmmmm maybe Oxytocin can account for this?
I find the more I am around and “sniffing” newborns, wee little ones and their families the more I am “like” them and tuned into them…..all their babies, no exception, settle with me, and I have a “Muma Bear” reputation….
I wonder if it is because I deliberately keep “it” alive by “feeding” my Oxytocin levels, or if I am just more nurturing naturally?
But this I do understand about myself ….the more women and newborns I am around the more I am addicted to them, the more births I attend the more I LOVE births…….makes me want to birth and breastfeed again…actually I think I should have been born in Africa where shared feeding and Wet Nurses are very common!!!
Thanks for listening to me! Excellent thought provoking blog!
Cathy
How can you have too many children, that is like having too many flowers! Mother Theresa
Perfectly said! Wish shared feeding and many children were our culture. Can never have too many flowers and I could never have enough kids to love!
I’m a midwife’s assistant and let me tell you… the oxytocin is palpable in the room when the birth is happening! I credit many oxytocin highs with getting me home safely, instead of massive amounts of coffee. :)
Oh my! My mother is an “instant calmer” sort of person–babies and toddlers, particularly the tw
Oh my! My mother is an “instant calmer” sort of person–babies and toddlers, particularly the two-year-old set, absolutely LOVE her. Always, no exceptions. I’ve always thought it must be her beautiful peace, calm, and love. She manifests this vocally, too–she has a special crooning voice that she instinctively uses when she’s talking to a very small person, an animal, or a loved one in a tender moment. My mom is deaf, so she has no idea how different this crooning voice is from her everyday speech, or how special and beautiful it is. But I think it all must come from the same place, and seeing it linked to oxytocin makes so much sense. Ah, the pieces come together!
Having been in a very cuddly snuggly mood with my own children lately, I am going to try to take heed and model myself after my oxytocin-wealthy mama. :)