I have single-handedly consumed almost three pounds of walnuts in the last few months.
I’ve always liked walnuts, but now I can’t get enough of them. In the past, I’d sometimes get canker sores from eating them, but I must have built up a tolerance or something ’cause I can eat them like candy now.
This new obsession may have contributed to my gaining 15+ pounds in the last few months. Or it could be that I’ve eaten those almost-three-pounds of walnuts atop big bowls of ice cream every night for many moons. And lately, when Ax asks me before bedtime if I want my “usual” (vanilla ice cream with raspberries and walnuts), I almost always add two or three more handfuls of walnuts to whatever Ax has served me. All of this means that I no longer look like I’m a starvation victim or suffering from an eating disorder. Three cheers for getting some chub on me.
Every time I eat my bowl full of walnuts, I think about my grandma. She had a walnut tree in her front yard, so she often added walnuts to baked goods, and I remember shelling walnuts with her as a child. Part of me wonders if my new walnut addiction is some part of my soul trying to stuff itself with Grandma? I’m definitely not done grieving. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s OK. I didn’t just lose my grandmother, I really lost my mother. (I have slept every night since her death with a thrashed old blanky she gave me.)
In any case, the walnuts should help me continue to heal emotionally:
Nuts are superfoods on the depression healing diet. They are not only chock full of fiber, protein and healthy fats but also contain depression-busting B vitamins, anti-inflammatory antioxidants like quercetin, as well as trace minerals like magnesium and selenium and the amino acids tryptophan and tyrosine, which help your brain make the all-important mood-calming neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine. (“Keep Your Calm With Nuts“)
If I’m going to embrace a new addiction, this one seems like a wise choice. ;-)