Done? Revisited
I keep going back and forth in my mind about this.
But here’s where I’m at with it. I don’t know if we’re done having babies or not. Maybe we are, maybe we aren’t. For all I know I could change my mind in a few years anyway. As I’ve pondered it, I’ve come to peace with either path. I feel OK with being done. And I feel OK with not being done.
It is interesting to note, however, that my five-year-old told me a week or two ago that I was going to have two more babies. Another boy and another girl (not necessarily in that order). She’s also the one who told me, “It’s OK, Mommy. You’ll grow another one,” when I pushed out my placenta, remember? Maybe it’s all just silly five-year-old ramblings. Or maybe she’s just as spiritually in-tune and intuitive as I’ve often suspected her to be. We shall see, I suppose. I think God knows that all would need to do is see a child in my dreams to give me a nudge in that direction.
Thanks to some spiritual insights and experiences, I feel hopeful that I will be able to provide the love and nurturing my children need, no matter how many children I have. But I’m going to save determining if and when and how many of them for another day.
In the meantime, I’m going to love my four little ones with as much of my time and heart as I can muster. Why do they have to grow so fast?
No related posts.
They do grow so fast! She is so beautiful and I have a daughter that insists there is another too. I think that they are sensitive to the spirit.
It sounds like you have the perfect plan. You can decide later what is best for you and not worry right now. enjoy those four precious blessings you have and Heavenly Father will help you know what is right.
My husband and I knew it was right not to have anymore for medical reasons but Heavenly Father gave me the reassurance that it was the right decision. While I would love to have another child. I haven’t doubted. I know that our four is the right number for us.But I know without a doubt and physically, I can’t do it anymore. You have to know, without a doubt though if you ever make that final decision.
I am happy to see that you have found peace on this issue for now. I was talking to my mom, who had four children, yesterday about how not all women are meant to be mothers of many. I believe that all married women capable of safely bearing children are called to motherhood, and it is a calling we all much seek guidance in. However, for some women being a mother of a large family is a *special* calling, and who the Lord calls for it, he qualifies. Some of us have other great callings in this life, in addition to motherhood. My mom said she could not have taught seminary for 9 years if she had more children than she had, and she feels that was a special calling in her life. I feel that working in birth is another calling in my life, and hope that someday I will be able to focus more on that, though I am open to being a mother to as many children as the Lord wants me to be.
Correction: we are ALL called to be mothers, some just in ways we don’t think of (I thought of that long after I wrote the comment and turned off the computer)
Just a little note…I had a blessing that said that I would be a mother to those who have no mother…I realized when I received that, that I may never be “done” as a mother:) Whether or not it’s ones that I conceive and bear or not.
After my 2nd birth, a Home Birth, I was already plotting my next home birth experience. But, deep inside, a voice whispers that I should be done. It’s kind of unnerving!
Who to listen to? The head or the heart?